Dad died this week.
In our last exchange, he texted me a picture of the view from his bed at Kavanaugh House hospice. Des Moines’ fiery autumn woods served as the backdrop for the last day of his life, visiting with friends and family and watching one last game of football.
When his message came through, I was preparing dinner across the ocean. Peace washed over me. On the minimalist daybed under the picture window, his clothes laid folded and stacked, baseball cap posed on top of the tidy pile. A striped throw pillow rested against one end of the daybed. He was surrounded by beauty and order.
Dad captioned the photo, “New pic. Another tomorrow.” I’m still chewing on the delicious ambiguity of his words. Did he intend to send a picture the following day? Was he stating an intention to go on living?
Of course, Dad knew his time was short. He had faced health struggles for many years and had given much thought to his relationships and his legacy. Blessedly, his last day brought optimism and lightness. Lying in bed, perhaps in his final solitary moments, he noted the gentle brilliance of the scene and snapped a picture. Then, he thought to share it with me.
As I begin to grieve this loss from afar, my father’s message buoys me. His missive is my poetic balm in the emptiness I feel. I return to it incessantly and hold it at my heart center. In those trying weeks leading to his death, my heroic siblings comforted him and advocated for him. They secured a beautiful space in which he felt safe to finally let go. He peacefully moved on to another tomorrow.
Obituary for Bernard Joseph Connolly, Jr.
Beautifully written. Thank you. Your father was a good man, a dear friend, and a beacon of light, hope, and faith to many. He is, and will be, missed.
That is beautiful Allison.
Barney was one of the few people who never
gave up on me.Knowing what I was, knowing who
am and who I could become . He will always be
in my life and prayers. I love you Barney.
Barney is one of the few people that never gave up on me. He knew what I was, what I am and what I could become.
He never judged me. Barney will always be with me in my prayers and spirit. I love you Barney.
Allison, lovely tribute, so poignant. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Barney was my mentor and helped me through a particularly rough stretch. I loved the man. God bless the family and give them strength.
Allison this is Mary and Ron Pick
What a beautifully written story about your Dad’s last day.
We were at his funeral and we talked to several people who spoke of how much your Dad had helped them through hard times.
We are sending love and prayers to you and your family
Mary and Ron
Matt and Josh
Barney was at peace when we visited him the day before he passed away. He was watching the football game and looking forward to tomorrow.!
Dear Allison,
You have a gift for words, obvious in your beautiful tribute to your father, “Another Tomorrow.” John and I sat on that very sofa on a glorious autumn Sunday, 11-2, visiting with Barney while he was watching that football game. I will be forever grateful that we made that visit.
You always made time for your father when you were in DM. I hope and pray that these memories are some consolation for you at this time. I know it meant the world to him.
As we all are grieving his passing, I know he was religious and had a deep faith that indeed after this life, he would truly move on to an even better “Another Tomorrow.”
Love, Bern
What a beautiful tribute to your dad, Allison. The woodsy view from his window was something he loved – and sending you that message just reinforced how much he loved you, BJ, Tricia, Jack and all the family. I like to think he meant both – another pic and another tomorrow. In spite of pain, he always woke up happy and the optimist. It was a pleasure to have coffee with him in the morning because he was so ready to meet the day. I remember his baseball caps – they all were that color – or maybe that was “the” cap? He loved pale yellow, osso bucco, the classics, Hotel California, and thriller novels; he didn’t like to clear those coffee cups out of his car; he liked to ride low and cool . . . all lovely quirks and habits that made him such a special person. When I knew him, what he was most proud of was the four of you. Psalm 91 – For he will command his angels about you to guard you wherever you go. / They will lift you up with their hands.